Jagung bakwan n tahu

I don't need being recognized, I already out off it.. I'm not expected your recognize as I don't expect you guys to understand me better.
Let people who seen me like jerk still see me like that, let people who's see me unable still underestimate me..
Cause since beginning of my life I'm already fought for it. Fight to be like them, to do what others do, to be my self even though still doing what they expect me to do. I'm used to it.
Being see as bad as I can be even with my own families.
Even when I done nothing, they'll still thought me doing something bad
Sometime on past I ever think, whats the point restrain my self so hard, walling my self from doing normal kids do only to look as good kid, but at last for them I still ugly n bad person.
Like I said I'm now out off it, hoping for their recognize n good point of few of me I'm left it behind
This is the way I live, this was what I decided still beginning, to be someone who seen in dark. Lonely person with wolf walk-in alone at night, no body expect me to appear or will do anything. Show up like no one will know when or where. I'm doing my life like a surprise..
I hope just someday they'll understand it n I can give the most happy surprise for them
I don't need to be grabbed at those togetherness but I hope I can make those kind of togetherness..

I don't know how to defend my self with words, I realize how stupid me don't know n lacks with daily life live. I thought sorry for being here

What should I do actually, I don't have nothing as my spain or stay beside me, I don't have nothing left

Of this day I realize that how people perception n thought can be too hard to handle. Even for me
I always accept but hurted
I have too many lacks so I have no right for feeling sad
That lacks as normal person is too grief
I am sorry ya Alloh. It's kinda miracle how I still survive with this personality n without doing anything bad.
Once again I wonder should I kill this personality of me, no matter how kind n caring I can be, people seems won't be empathy about it. They will more satisfied with someone capable not my care of person

I have a tart

Wisdom was the part of human infinity, human shell n living pal. I made too much joke in it.
When we sincere surely everyone will know it, that what I always believe. But maybe for some reason you will find it hard
I get my self up too early. I sat drink a water n waiting for a chance. I was wondering why on the earth about seizing with everyone moment only for consideration.. Forget it when I look back rarely I met people do same to me.
Compassion is priceless like a bite of tart that you eat on your Sunday night. First you're so want it, anticipate that taste n wanna eat it soon n more even when you haven't ate one spoon. After you slice a bit, this feeling rise n rise more you're so hopeful about it, so when you finally eat it, the sweetness full up your mouth that taste that you wait for is going through. And at this time all of those moment will crave in deep into your mind n feeling. Not about before nor about after so about what happening, that moment compassion some of days will you question it?
Do they come when you ask it, when you want too, or when you're so hoping about it..
Sometime the tart that you want the most never even able you touch yet, or you can't eat it for some reason,
Do you feel bring left, alone, freak, lamest, or pathetic. Those tarts still there for anyone n be sweet for everyone but you,.
Hey I must to go now.. I will continue it later.. So got wrap some clothes, see ya!